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Question: I have a problem with a colleague, with whom I work with quite often. We are engineers in the same department, and we are often associated with making plans or contracts. Although technically it is very good, it is focusing on its own needs and behave as if we are not together. To do so, having ourselves on the map or, how to proceed and compel them to a conclusion. It tries to develop his own ideas with our mutual Push without my chief of the seizure. I have a tendency to Team Player, and I am not sure how this type of format. Do you have any suggestions for me?
A. Most often, when we realized we find the behaviour at work, which reminds many of the children on a playground, and it is very challenging to treat. His colleague appears to be in the child’s behavior, such as the attempt is still a preferred form of parental authority, in this case, that the Chief’s favor.
Unfortunately, in the workplace, we can not always act as a surrogate parent and for all the work done.
In the alternative, it could easily be seen as an attempt to connect to your costs. In all cases, it is confusing and potentially harmful to your emotional well-being and financial.
It seems to me that a direct, face-to-face, two-lane, the discussion occur, it would have to staff.
While it may be difficult for you to plan with him the time to start talking seriously with the issue. A light, “by the way” will not work. Let the know around the pattern of behaviour that you have noticed, and to him, that you both speak, in order to avoid the fact that more and more recurrent and how your collaboration with the future.
I would ask him a number of questions such as:
I know that you have the impression your ideas changed, but our work without talking to me first is not what we agreed. How can we prevent this from happening again?
Please help me to understand than you think, it helps our team and our project for you, go to the head without reference to me?
The time you sent an e-mail to both our names speak without me at the outset unacceptable and shameful for me, when our boss asked me about this. How do you feel when that happens?
If we make decisions for a joint project a certain way, then go to your own in another direction, then we are unable to complete and deliver what is expected. Can we agree that if one of us wants to change a part of a project clear this is a first for others?
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